Life is not necessarily a smooth ride. None of us have a “Hollywood” perfect life. People have some wonderful periods and some difficult ones. There are many individuals today who have been shielded from the hardships of life. As youngsters, they received trophies for everything they participated in, even if they failed. They were given almost everything they wanted as quickly as they demanded it.
Children who have been shielded or catered to are not prepared for the eventuality of loved ones dying, a divorce, or an economic decline in the family living above their means. Frequently parents do not teach their children about the hardships other people have endured or even tell them how they went through difficult periods in their life.
This younger generation is being protected from facing the difficulties that come with life. A child whose mother died when he was six years old illustrates this. The sister of the mother immediately brought him into her home, treating him as her child. To get sympathetic attention, the child constantly complains that people say he does not have a mother. This makes the child’s aunt feel terrible when her nephew focuses on the tragedy of her sister’s death instead of acknowledging and being grateful for all that she has done for him.
Instead of feeling guilt, this blessed aunt, who has taken over the role of the parent, needs to explain that these things happen. She should point out how many people have overcome far worse experiences, such as being put in an orphanage. He should be thankful for living in his aunt’s loving family.
Another life stage that can be difficult is the process of aging. The operative advertising word for older people in our population is “I got my life back.” The cause varies from more energy from balanced fruits and vegetables, improving one’s teeth with an inexpensive dental process, better sleep with “my pillow,“ or medicine that solves all the problems of aging. The elder’s life was not robbed from them; they just temporarily fixed a natural problem of aging. They should review their life and thank God for their health even though they have more pain and less energy than younger people. Positive things happen if we are willing to recognize them.
Our culture has moved from being thankful to focusing on the negative expression, ”shit happens,” to the modern psychological version, “I am a victim.” According to this philosophy, any negative thing that happens in your life makes you a victim. Too many individuals are using these natural human events as personal vicious acts directed at them instead of the normal, unpredictable life journey.
There are natural disasters like the major earthquake in Turkey and Syria, hurricanes like Ian that devastated the west coast of Florida, enormous forest fires in California, and drought throughout the western USA. Then there are man-made disasters like the train derailment spilling toxic material throughout East Palestine, Ohio, rampant killing by drive-by shootings, child trafficking, and drug overdoses.
The individuals who only complained and demanded help from others are likely to join the ranks of the victims. Victimhood has become so chic people are joining it by pretending to be a victim. The people who took decisive action to solve their circumstances would not allow themselves to fall into the category of a complainer since they are doers who confront issues.
At a condo gym in Tampa, Florida, last month, a small young woman was in the gym exercising when she recognized a larger man who came to the gym at the door. He physically attacked this petite lady in an attempt to rape her. Being a much smaller person, she amazingly fought him off and ran out of the facility. Instead of being a victim, she became a heroine.
Anyone can get help if they seek it, especially with all the programs available, yet it is a selfish person who pretends to be a victim when they have solutions to their personal dilemmas. They should solve and walk away from their problems, but they claim to be pathetic victims of life.
Too many people get stuck in their own victimization instead of picking themselves up and fighting through their life’s journey. Some people suffering from war injuries or significant debilitating diseases, birth defects like the children in the Shriner’s Hospital, or mental disabilities have defeated their self-pity and led good lives helping others.
There are many people who have overcome their disabilities, and instead of constantly complaining they are victims, they put courageous effort into overcoming them.
A person who could avoid being a victim and does nothing to correct their life’s path should be blamed for pretending to be a victim.
Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers, an author of several books, and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN, and a new just published book entitled IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can visit Dr. Maglio at www.drmaglio.blogspot.com.