‘Taking Care of Garden’

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‘Taking Care of Garden’

Thu, 08/22/2019 - 19:34
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GOOFY STUFF

By VINCENT CARDEGIN

AWARD WINNING COLUMNIST

Although I have no albums of his, I like Yankovic’s music.  So one day I was trimming around the planks and logs that enclose my wife’s several gardens of tomatoes and green beans and other plants I have not yet identified (a few might be Brussel sprouts, but they look like Sci-fi aliens to me). While trimming, I was reminded of another day, longer ago, when after getting home from Exwork I was inspired by both the good and the bad events of the shift and posted on Facebook to my fellow workers a rewrite of one of my favorite songs.  I meant to learn the chords on the guitar so I could play it live by myself, but I didn’t.

For your pleasure or displeasure, and in humble tribute to Weird Al, here is “Taking Care of Garden” sung to the tune of Taking Care of Business by BTO:

 

(Cranky guitar and drums prelude)

 

We get up every morning

From our phone-clock’s warning

Turn the TV on to check out the news

 

Brew some coffee for our waking

But there’s clearly no mistaking

That really we need more hours of snooze

 

If your car doesn’t fail

You can get to work in Hell

And burn your gristle in most every way

 

If you ever get upset

Look at us we’re drenched in sweat

We love to work at loading all day

 

‘Cause we be taking care of garden

Every day

Taking care of Garden

Every way

 

We’ve been taking care of Garden

It’s all fine

Taking care of Garden

But don’t go overtime

Watch out

 

(Cranky guitar short interlude)

 

If it were easy as liftin’

We wouldn’t have to mention

Our walking rash between our butt cheeks 

 

But we are always hurtin’

Scratching more is almost certain

From all the trucks we’ll unload this week

 

People see us having fun

Just a-working in the sun

Tell them to get out of our way

 

It’s shoppers we avoid

‘Cause we’re not self-employed

We have to work at something all day

 

So we be taking care of Garden

Every day

Taking care of Garden

Every way

 

We be taking care of Garden

It’s all fine

Taking care of Garden

But don’t go overtime

Pity

 

(Extended cranky guitar interlude)

(Mixed various verbal noises)

(Repeat first six stanzas)

(Fade out with “Taking care of Garden” over and over.)

 

Yeah, some of it doesn’t make sense, but this is what I sing when I listen to that song.  Get on YouTube and check it out: I believe every syllable is exact.

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