Opinion

Jupiter Two Meals

I haven’t bought paper plates and bowls in a long time, but I have sneaked in some plastic flatware.  Of course, it’s no longer a secret after I dump the forks, spoons, and knives in the drawer of the microwave stand, into three sectional containers, but my wife hasn’t complained, so I’m good.  It will be the natural course of things that I’ll start using metal again when I run out of those polystyrene utensils, and do so for many weeks and perhaps months before I find myself down that aisle and once more spot them on the shelves.  We’ve gone long stretch

In No Hurry For the Tooth Fairy

Brett was sick and tired of everyone coaxing him to pullout that wiggly, loose baby tooth! “Come on kid, let me at it!” His dad chuckled, settling Brett onto his lap.

“No dad, pleeeese don’t bother it,” Brett whined, and squirmed away quickly before dad had time to apply a pair of greasy pliers to the wobbly tooth precariously suspended from his young, pink gums.

Vest Clipstrips

April 2016:  Today was rigorous (not to be confused with rigor mortis, which I’m convinced some of my joints have entered into).  The gist-list goes like this: lifted, pushed, and pulled heavy stuff; operated the forklift, scissor lift, walkie stacker, and electric pallet jack for short whiles each; then went back to exercising every muscle in my body.  I don’t know why I don’t look like Arnold Schwarzenegger after he pumps up.

Bell Peppers

One day, days ago, Senor Cargador helped me load bags of dirt from Exwork into the back of my soov (how I pronounce SUV), and then he helped me unload them in my backyard.  While engaged in our well-practiced and famous Exworkian technique of levante en grupo, he asked me if we actually saved money by growing our own produce.  I told him probably not, that gardening was one of my wife’s hobbies, along with arts and crafts, bible study, and feeding and cleaning up after her pets.

On My Way

Back in my Exwork days, one of my favorite fellow workers, Bonnie Sod, and I used to crack each other up with tales of our aging antics.  She’d describe her frustration at dropping her Bluetooth earpiece in the kitchen, and when she leaned over to pick it up, her reading glasses would fall off, and when she stepped forward to get that, she’d kicked the earpiece under the refrigerator, and in her attempt to scoop out the Bluetooth with the handle of a fly swatter, her phone would slide from her pocket (I might be remembering me, but similar things happened

Now Here

English is a perplexing language.  Writers praise its wealth of words and flexibility, but I’m not impressed, though I grew up with it.  My home language is a conglomeration of many languages, as any advanced language must be.  But I have never liked the similarities of spelling, and the annoyance of similar pronunciation.

Keep Calm and Hunt Turkeys

This weekend opens the two day youth season for wild turkey hunting in our zone, as determined by our friends at the Florida Wildlife Commission.  I pray that many of you will be taking to the field with your favorite little folks in hopes of bringing a big gobbler to their gun.  Now anybody that’s hunted with kids knows that they lose focus when they find themselves having to wait too long for some action.  Think about ways to keep them from growing irritable with boredom; muted cell phone games, handheld gaming devices, or quiet toys. 

Zoo House

Not long ago, while watching T10 Cricket in my office-garage with Senor Cargador, my wife came out and wanted me to go buy lottery tickets.  One of the games had amassed a great deal of money, she proclaimed excitedly.