Audio Revenge

At first my wife called her new cats Lavern and Shirley.  But then our granddaughter, Sneaks, identified one as a male, so my wife decided on Agatha and Holmes.  I told her that didn’t make sense. If one is named after Agatha Christie, the other should be named after Arthur Conan Doyle: Christie and Doyle.  Or even better, Marple and Holmes; just don’t mix authors and characters! But my wife is confusedly insistent.

They Don’t Make That

In my younger life I was a 34 waist. Then for years I was a comfortable 36.  Now, I’m a 37, but they don’t make that. For some reason pants in the midrange are even numbers: 32, 34, 36, 38; it reads like a high school cheerleading chant.  I’ve spotted 29s on shelves, but never a 27, at least not at Exwork, so I don’t know what’s going on with the odd numbers. What I do know is that 36 is now too small for me, and I don’t like the uncomfortable folds that are created between the loops when I tighten my belt around a 38.

Gone Fishing

 Back in aught-seven, during the big remodel at Exwork, the tanks of live fish were moved from the pet department all the way over to the wall behind Health and Beauty Aids (HBA), with the last aisle there filled with food and tank décor, as well as other products for caged pets.  No one could explain to me the merchandising strategy of that. I don’t believe there was one. But HBA is right around the corner from Garden, and us workers were routinely tasked with bagging fish.

Budgets, Deficits and Unicorns

The measures we use to understand our government are mostly make believe. A budget is a plan of how you are going to spend money. It should be a best guess as to the amount of money that you will need to spend usually for a year. A deficit is if your budget (expected spending) is larger than your expected revenue. A surplus is if your budget is less than your expected revenue.

Everything I throw away

Now and then an archeology documentary includes a segment about ancient dump sites.  Some are packed with shells and various aquatic remains, while many are full of broken ceramics and bones of domesticated animals.  I wonder, did ancient people have garbage collectors?  Were old chariots bought for cheap by their sanitation department and used to collect weekly refuse?  What about the pre-wheel people?  Yeah, they had to walk to their dumps.