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Monday, April 22, 2024
HomeOpinionThe Papa Files by Vincent Cardegin

The Papa Files by Vincent Cardegin

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Over the last few weeks I’ve noticed fewer and fewer people wearing masks when they’re in stores.  Several times I’ve been the only one wearing a mask when I stopped at a small business of convenience.  At first, I didn’t like masks because no matter what brand I bought the things were always trying to rip my ears off.  They hurt, and I hated them for that.  But then my sister, Craftster, sent me her homemade masks.  They are larger to begin with, but also have adjustable ear loops.  Ah, the difference is amazing.  I can only liken it to switching from shoes that are a size too small to a pair that are so comfortable that you can’t tell you’re wearing them.

I suspect that the virus is smaller than the weave of store-bought paper and homemade cloth masks, so perhaps such facewear doesn’t really help.  But the inclusion of them as part of social attire serves as a reminder to keep your distance from others, and that definitely helps.

I’m not sure what the argument is about Constitutional rights.  Our Constitution doesn’t mention masks or even clothing.  And that’s how I now view masks, as part of clothes.  Whenever I go out, or meet people, I put on a mask just as I put on sunglasses and a hat.  It’s clothing.

We wear clothes for protection.  Sure, there’s a whole industry about fashion, most of which is not necessarily based on the actual function of clothing, but hey, if we need to wear them anyway, might as well look good!  But originally, and still, we wear garments to keep from getting sunburned, and windburned, and frozen, and, to a lesser degree of success, keeping bugs off our bodies.  The only time I wear jeans is when I visit my daughter; the thicker material works better than regular pants at preventing her excited dogs from scratching my legs.

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Just the other day, a guy showed up to deliver a new deep freezer.  My wife’s old one (only two years old) had stopped working, and she didn’t discover that until the food in it was not only room temperature but summer garage temperature.  I don’t want to know or think about how much money she threw away.

I put my mask on and opened the garage door, and he greeted me without a mask.  He saw that I was wearing one and assured me that he’d gotten the shot.  I thanked him, and then said that it didn’t matter, that I didn’t want to catch anything, not Covid, the flu, a cold, or even a nose full of pollen.  He looked distractedly amused by that.  After he took the old freezer out and installed the new one, he reached to shake my hand, and I shook it.  Then after I used a knuckle to push the button to close the garage door, I washed my hand for a double-Monk: 40 seconds, and with bar soap.

I keep expecting, in all my shopping at many stores, to be challenged, even yelled at, by some other customer who thinks I should not be wearing a mask.  I’ll curse any individual to the middle level of Dante’s hell for that nonsensical opinion.  So far that hasn’t happened, but I expect it, and so I want to have a hat made that reads, I DON’T WANT TO CATCH ANYTHING, and I’ll do that every time I leave the house, and I’ll point to it if ever I’m accosted.  I haven’t had it made yet, but I designed it with a photo program, and printed a copy for whatever shop I find that can make it.

If I can be arrested for walking around nude, I should as least be detained and even cited for walking around without a mask.


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